I’d Like To Thank The Academy…

I’m a very unlucky person.

Raffles, contests, awards, the lottery, the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes, the Nobel Peace Prize, Skee-ball at Chuck E. Cheese…I never win anything. My luck is terrible.

But Lori, you’re probably saying, you’re lucky to have your family, your health and your job.

Yes, that’s true. So I guess I’m a winner at life.

And I’m a winner at the game of Life…but mostly because I cheat.

I’m also a winner of this fine prize:

Yes, I won a Peter Potty flushable toddler urinal (but that's a story for another day)

So, like I was saying, I never win anything anything good.  I was starting to feel as unlucky as the Chicago Cubs. But suddenly, my luck turned around. Imagine my surprise when I received this:    .

My friend Julie was given this Stylish Blogger Award and she was kind enough to pass it on to me. Julie is definitely a stylish blogger. Me? Stylish? Blogger? Uh, no. I suspect that when Julie gave me this award, her judgement was impaired from all the paint and glue fumes she’d been inhaling. You see, Julie is a crafting nut. Seriously, she’s a nut. Nut was her description, not mine. I never call my friends nuts. Well, that may not be true. As Justin Bieber says, never say never. (GOOD LORD, I’M QUOTING JUSTIN BIEBER!  HELP ME!) Julie’s also “an Oprah-Martha Stewart-Peter Walsh-Food Network-TLC-entertaining-organizing-lifestyle book reading-junkie”. If you gave Julie a glue gun, fabric, glitter and googly eyes and put her in a room with Martha Stewart, Julie would totally kick Martha’s crafty ass. I don’t know who Peter Walsh is, but I’m sure Julie could kick his ass too.  Julie’s blog is a showcase for her creativity and you should check it out. 

Thanks to Julie for my Stylish Blogger Award. I can’t believe I actually received a blogger award. I keep expecting  Kanye West to pop in, take my award and say, “Imma gonna let you finish writing your post, but Beyonce is the most stylish blogger of all time.”  That would be weird. I didn’t even know Beyonce was a blogger. But since that hasn’t happened yet, I’ll hang on to my award and put it in my sidebar, where Kanye West can’t get his grubby hands on it.

Yes, I think my luck is changing. 

That Distinguished Alumni Award from my high school will be mine in no time!

The Year In Review

The final days of 2009 are approaching and 2010 is waiting eagerly in the wings. As 2009 draws to a close, we will encounter an abundance of 2009 year-end retrospectives – historic events of 2009, scandals of 2009, the best of 2009, the worst of 2009, celebrity deaths of 2009 and the most important year-end retrospective……

Loripalooza: the year in review

I wrote a few posts in 2009. To celebrate the end of 2009, I’ve compiled my own “best of” list – Loripalooza‘s best posts of 2009. This does not mean the other posts suck, it’s just a list of some of my favorite posts of the year. And by recycling old posts, I don’t have to write a new post! Pretty smart, huh? So here’s the list….check them out if you missed them the first time around.

Happy New Year! See you in 2010!

Happy 1st Blogoversary to Me

In the blogosphere there is a penchant for putting the prefix “blogo” in front of various words. For instance, blogorrific bloggers blogging in the blogosphere don’t celebrate anniversaries, they celebrate blogoversaries. Today is my blogoversary. One year ago I published my first post and my blog Loripalooza was born. Over the past 12 months I’ve published a total of 24 posts. For me this is a major accomplishment. For serious bloggers, it’s laughable.  Big name bloggers easily put out  24 posts in one month, not over 12 months.  But take a look – this dinky free WordPress blog is a pretty clear sign that I’m not a big name serious blogger.  Blogging isn’t my career, it isn’t my livelihood. For me, blogging is a hobby, a way to exercise my right brain once in a while.  Hey, 24 posts isn’t bad for a busy doctor, wife and mom of 2. Sure, big name bloggers may scoff at my 24 posts, but I take pride in this achievement and may even be so bold as to give myself a pat on the back.  

When television shows celebrate anniversaries, they often have special retrospective episodes. On my blogoversary, let’s take a moment and recap a few of the topics I’ve blogged about this year…..

Lost teeth

Lost tampons

Finding gumdrops

Finding piano music

Satan the ice cream truck driver

Satan the ex-governor Rod Blagojevich

Talking about sex

Kissing boo-boos

…plus many more deranged random topics.

A sincere thank you to all my readers. Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading Loripalooza as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.  What does Loripalooza have in store for its second year? Same old shit. Uh, maybe I should clarify that – you should expect more of the stupendous and award winning entertaining posts that you’ve come to know and love. Will Loripalooza’s second year bring 24 new posts? Maybe. More than 24 posts? Maybe. Less than 24 posts? Maybe. Or will I just wake up one day and decide to close up shop and abandon Loripalooza? Maybe  (probably not). It’s impossible to predict what the next 365 days will bring, so I guess you’ll just have to keep reading Loripalooza to find out.

Tag(line), You’re It!

When I got the brilliant idea to start a blog I really had no idea what I was doing.  I knew there were a few sites where you could start your own blog for free, but that was about all I knew. To get more information, I went to Google Ask.com and searched for “free blog”. From that search I concluded there were two main places to start a blog – Blogger and WordPress.  So I started at Blogger. The first step was to come up with a title for my blog. I needed something catchy, something clever, something that people would remember.  Then it came to me – Loripalooza. Loripalooza would be the title of my blog. I eagerly typed in the title to register my blog…..

…..and someone had already registered that title on Blogger.  Dang it!  Since my Loripalooza blog wasn’t going to happen at Blogger, I went over to WordPress. Again, I tried to register what I thought was my unique Loripalooza name.  You can guess what happened next – someone had already registered Loripalooza at WordPress too.  Curses, foiled again! I guess slapping your name in front of “palooza” wasn’t that original…at least among girls named Lori. Great Loris must think alike and because I’m the greatest Lori of them all, I just had to have Loripalooza as my blog name.  After tinkering with the blog URL a little bit, I successfully registered my Loripalooza blog on WordPress.

Nine months later I still have pretty much no idea what I’m doing.  But I have been paying attention to other blogs and I’ve learned a few things. First, I’ve learned that widgets and plug-ins are parts of a blog but they still sound like funny words to me.  Also, I’ve noticed that a lot of blogs have taglines. A tagline is a sentence or phrase that comes after the main title, kind of like a slogan. Taglines are often witty remarks that tell you more about the blog or blogger.  As an example, if Frosted Flakes cereal was a blog, Frosted Flakes would be the name of the blog and They’re great! would be the tagline.

Not all blogs have a tagline. My blog doesn’t have a tagline but that could change with your help.  I am asking you, the reader, to vote on the tagline you think I should use for Loripalooza. Check out the list of possible taglines, choose your favorite and leave me a comment telling me which one gets your vote. Or if you don’t like any of the choices below, leave me a comment with your original tagline suggestion.  Of course if you think the title Loripalooza should stand alone without a tagline, let me know in the comments section.

(Last week my Twitter friend Becky asked readers for suggestions for a new blog title, so I freely admit that I am stealing her idea)

My list of possible taglines:

Loripalooza

1. Side effects may include intense euphoria, giddiness and hysterical laughter. Seek medical help for an erection lasting more than 4 hours.

2. My apologies to Strunk and White

3. Doctor, mommy, blogger. Put me on shuffle and see what you get.

4. Healing the sick one post at a time.

5. Kid tested, mother approved (on second thought, not such a good idea…General Mills will have their lawyers all over my ass)

6. Strunk and White are rolling in their graves right now.

7. Your prescription for laughs or Your prescription for fun.

Those are the taglines I’ve come up with so far. If you like them, let me know. If you hate them, let me know. If you have your own idea for the perfect Loripalooza tagline, let me know. So basically what I’m saying is, let me know – leave me a comment. Thanks for your help.

BlogHer ’09

A lot can change in one year. For instance, if one year ago someone had mentioned BlogHer ’09 to me, I would have been totally clueless. My response would have been along the lines of, “BlogHer? What the hell is BlogHer? Leave me alone, I have to check my Facebook!”  Yes, it was approximately one year ago that I dipped my toe into the social media pond and joined Facebook. One year ago I was still in the honeymoon phase of Facebook, when Facebook was fun, not like Facebook now which is lame and aggravating. Somehow Facebook led to joining Twitter which in turn led to the creation of this very blog.

Twitter has introduced me to many friendly, funny and creative people so it’s no surprise that these people have funny, creative and moving blogs.  And it’s through Twitter that I learned that once a year these bloggers get together for a conference devoted to the blogosphere and everything blog-related –  BlogHer.  As the date of BlogHer ’09 got closer, more and more people were tweeting about it. All of this BlogHer talk peaked my curiosity. Maybe I could partake in some of the BlogHer fun, after all, BlogHer ’09 was going to be held in Chicago – Chicago is practically my backyard (that is, if your yard was 25 miles away from your house).   I really wanted to meet in real life the people I follow on Twitter as well as the authors of the blogs I read, but my attempts to procure any type of pass to BlogHer was an epic fail.  I contemplated driving down to Chicago without a BlogHer ticket to just hang out in the lobby of the Sheraton hoping that I’d meet people.  But I figured real BlogHers would be busy doing scheduled BlogHer activities and hanging out in the lobby without a BlogHer pass would be make me a creepy loser wanna-be BlogHer stalker and someone might call security on me.  So I stayed home and lived vicariously through the tweets of others.  I learned a lot about BlogHer including some of the BlogHer lingo: 

BlogHer ’09:  Attended by around 1400 bloggers, this 3 day blogging conference in Chicago at the Sheraton was complete with interesting speakers, discussion groups and opportunities meet with some of the brands that support bloggers.  Oh, and there are lots and lots of parties. 

Swag: free stuff

Bewbs: breasts

Parties: Did I mention there were a lot of parties?

Squee: I’m still not sure what it means to squee.

Reading the tweets from BlogHer I realized that I didn’t belong there. BlogHer is for the blogging community, a community that I’m not part of. Yes, I have a blog, but I have a hard time keeping up with it. I have more drafts than actual posts and I can’t seem to find the time to complete them. So many of the BlogHer attendees balance work and family while maintaining successful blogs that people want to read.  This balance has eluded me, resulting in a small and insignificant blog written by a  small and insignificant blogger. And I’m not sure if BlogHer is the place for a blogger like me. 

As I was reading BlogHer tweets thinking about how there’s no way I could possibly be a part of this blogging community, I received an unexpected tweet.  One of my “in real life” friends, a real social media goddess, had gone to BlogHer for the day and she tweeted:

Key learning (not kidding) is @drlori71 can legitimately call herself a humor blogger. Seriously, you should read her Loripalooza blog.

Me? A legitimate blogger? Well, I wasn’t sure if I agreed with that, but it sure was nice to hear. Plus, it’s not polite to reject unsolicited flattery and giant boosts to the ego, so I gladly accepted it.  Yet, I still found it odd that someone could consider me a legitimate blogger.  But maybe BlogHer ’09  could help me realize my blogging potential.  One thing I learned from BlogHer ’09 is inspiration; the BlogHer attendees have  inspired me to work harder on my blog and really make an effort to post more frequently.  So if one person thinks of me as a legitimate blogger, maybe others will too and I’ll be an accepted member of the blogging community. 

And maybe, just maybe, one day I’ll make it to BlogHer.

And maybe one day the Cubs will make it to the World Series.

Will either of these things actually happen? We’ll just wait and see.

Welcome to Loripalooza!

My sincerest apologies to Paul Boutin, but I’ve started a blog.  Who, you may ask, is Paul Boutin and why have I decided to devote the very first sentence of my very first blog entry to him?  Well, Paul Boutin is a correspondent for the Silicon Valley gossip site Valleywag.    One of his columns was recently published in Wired magazine and in his article Mr. Boutin graciously passed along some friendly advice.  To quote Mr. Boutin, “Thinking about launching your own blog?  Don’t”.   In his opinion, social multimedia sites like Facebook and Twitter make blogs (again I quote Mr. Boutin) “look so 2004”.

Ouch, that’s a little harsh.  

Mr. Boutin is a fan of brevity and his argument is that the time it takes to craft sharp, witty blog prose is better spent expressing yourself on Facebook or Twitter (OK, that time I didn’t quote him, I just plagiarized him).  There’s more to the article, but I won’t bore you with his thoughts…I’d prefer to bore you with my own thoughts.  

Since blogs are “so 2004” maybe I should jump in my DeLorean time machine and travel back to 2004 to start my blog.  Unfortunately, the flux capacitor is on the fritz, so no time travel for me.  I’m just going to ignore Mr. Boutin’s advice, and start a blog right now in 2008.  Hey, I’m a fan of Facebook and Twitter, but I highly doubt they are going to completely replace blogs.  Sometimes it’s hard to express yourself in a brief Facebook or Twitter update.  For example, how can I possibly convey my love of Entenmann’s Devils Food Crumb doughnuts in a mere 140 characters?  It’s impossible! 

So, yes, I’ve started a blog.  Paul Boutin may not be happy about it, but I am.